Fort Carmen

All is quiet in the town of Oxford. And the Miami campus..even more so. And except for the students who've left their barricades of a dorm room to wait in the line outside McCrackin Market for some energy food, there is nobody on the streets. Nobody playing basketball on the quarts or laying out in the Quad. The campus is dead.

As you enter the doors of Morris Hall you can tell something is different. The hallways are dark and gloomy. People walk around like shades in the Underworld. Lost. Dazed. Tired. People bear sweatpants instead of collared shirts and only step out of their dismal rooms to use the restroom, where unlike every other weeknight, is empty of students hung over from the night before.

Everyone is safely locked away in their rooms. Studying, writing, drinking coffee, trying to enquire enough caffeine to pull an all nighter, dreading the moment when they have to walk out of this hall and into that exam room, but waiting for that moment of release. Their last final of Miami University's Finals Hell Week.

But there is a different atmosphere as you creep into room 240, where it's occupants are shuffling around and making noise. What could they be doing? Don't they have finals? Don't they have papers to write and tests to study for? Aren't they sleep deprived, just like every other student? Aren't they stressed out of their minds!

Yes. They are. But what's different about these girls is that they know how to make light of a terrible situation. How to bring happiness into this dreadful time. How to take this whole ordeal one day at a time. Also......they procrastinate.

So, why every other student is lost in their Chemistry books and glued to their lap top these girls are building a fort. That's right. Mallory finished her 1500 word paper that we all thought would never end and Marissa typed up her Greek Civ study guide that took 5 hours to make. They even called Katherine from room 257 to come share in this joyment of youth.

It took hard labor. It took strength. It took skill. It took minutes of brainstorming and the risk of injury, but finally it was completed. Beds turned over sideways, mattresses on the floor, sheets overhead. Fort Carmen was founded and oh boy was it a glorious site.

These girls accomplished what no other Miamian had ever accomplished the weekend before finals week and they were proud of what they had done. So, they layed down and took in the pleasure of their handy work. And did they go back to studying? No! They enjoyed this time by talking to people on aim and wasting away hours on facebook. And when they were finally done celebrating their ingeniousness they went to bed.

But they knew that when they woke up the next morning they would turn into those ghosts called college students. They would be bombarded with all the stuff they had put off the day/night before. But it was all worth it for that one night of bliss, for that one youthful dream before the reality of the nightmare that awaited the next day, of the only thing keeping them sane at this time in their life. That one fun night the world stopped for Mallory, Marissa, and Katherine to build Fort Carmen.

Ah...memories

I was randomly watching some music videos on Yahoo because I was bored and procrastinating on a paper and I just started to randomly look for these fairly old school songs that at one point in time I either really liked or was obsessed with. When I say fairly old school I’m talking Junior High days when everyone actually watched TRL. I listened to a few of them and remembered when I liked them and laughed about my once ridiculous taste in music. Well..I am happy to say that my taste in music has improved immensely, but I am sorry to say that if I were to hear these songs I just might, (key word “might”) dance and sing along. You know…for old time’s sake. So, although I am rather embarrassed to admit that I liked these songs here is my list of the top nine most ridiculous ones I remember. (in no particular order)

1. It Wasn’t Me- Shaggy: Wow..I was in 8th grade when this song came out. My favorite memory of it is in 8th Grade Home Ec class when I sat by Trevor Scott at the sewing machines and he used to sing this song all the time. But who was I to object..I totally had a crush on him and I liked the song.. apparently I liked it so much I bought the cd..and yes folks I still have it. So if ever you have a bizarre craving to hear it just give me a shout out. (p.s. isn't it weird that I liked a song about sex when I didn't even fully know what sex was..)

2. Peaches N’ Cream- 112: I can not tell you what I particularly liked about this song except that I thought it had a “good beat”. Did I know that peaches n’ cream meant sex? Maybe…honestly I don’t remember…but still..for some reason...

3. Hit Me Baby One More Time- Britney Spears: Can you really hold this one against me? Come on..I mean she was only the most popular teen idol of my generation. Boy..is that sad or what! Anywhen..my favorite memory of this song is my 6th grade birthday party where we had a “talent show” and me and Bri Hansen did a “dance” and sang to this song. We were soooo cool let me tell you.

4. Heartbreaker- Mariah Carey: I don’t remember when this song came out or how old I was but for some reason I really liked it. I mean if ever I was in the shower this is the song I’d sing. Me, Lauren, Twila, and Katherine went through this phase where we’d make up dances to songs. Bewitched Ce La Vie, Alison Krauss When You say Nothing at All, Build Me Up Buttercup..just to name a few. Anywhen my favorite memory of this song is when TJ, Me, and K tried to make up a dance to this one. I don’t think we got very far…

5. Ignition- R. Kelly: This is maybe one of my most regrettable ones! No Joke! Weird story…so I sort of liked this song..I mean..I thought it was ok. And then..the summer after my freshman year I was at Brandon Gardner’s bonfire and Josh Mott was there..and I totally liked him! (that's a whole other story) Well, he was playing random songs and trying to get some of the girls to dance with him. And I was like..I don’t grind..sorry. And everyone was like..why not..what if you had a good song..So Josh played this song and he started dancing to it..and even ran his fingers through his hair at the “runnin’ my hands through my fro” part. Needless to say I didn’t dance. But every time I heard that song from then on I thought of Josh..which is maybe why I started to like it more..because he did. (although last summer this song was played and the first thing he said was "oh i hate this song"..hmm) Well..now I still think of him when I hear it..and it just may have haunted me for the rest of my life. BIZARRE STORY I KNOW!!!

6. Bump, Bump, Bump- B2K: Well, I guess I just liked this song because I liked the video. I LOVE guys that can dance. And B2K had dance moves in this video, so I loved watching it. Also P. Diddy was in this video and I went through a phase (a tiny one..) where I thought he was hot. Well..I specifically remembering downloading this video on Kazaa Lite and watching it over and over again just to watch these boys dance. Teenagers...(she says as she shakes her head disapprovingly)

7. E.I.- Nelly: I think this was maybe TJ’s influence on me because she used to LOVE Nelly and I think she still does…anywhen..this was my favorite Nelly song..I know all the words still. Maybe I thought this song really spoke to me. I mean who can’t relate to the lyrics and overall message?

We can gamble to tha break of dawn ...niggaMoney long...niggaPass up tha skirt to talk to tha thong...niggaSome say I'm wrong fuck it I'm grown.....niggaIf you aint bout money then best be gone...niggaI'm flashy (uh) double takes when you walk past meNasty, don't be scared boo, go 'head and ask meI drive fastly, call me Jeff Gordonin a black SS wit a navagationSee tha joint blazin, somethin smells amazinI gotta chick rollin up half black and asianAnother one pagin' tellin me to come ovaHer husband on vacation and left her home aloneI used tha v-12 powers, weight loss powersFrom Phat Farm to Iceberg Slim in one showerGet a room in trump towers just to hit for 3 hoursGet the bitch up out the room cuz she used the word ours

8. Just the Two of Us- Will Smith: Alrighty..I have no excuse for liking this song. I didn’t even know that it was a remix at the time..and I can’t even explain it..but I still know ALL of the words..better than I know E.I. Also, I actually have this song on my computer as we speak..the only one from this list. So…wow…

9. I’m Real Remix- J. Lo featuring Ja Rule: I saved the best for last. If ever there was any one person truly obsessed with a song it was ME when this song came out!! I remember being really truly disappointed when it didn’t make the Retired List on TRL. For some reason I LOVED this song. I guess it was because of the tune or something and the fact that Jennifer Lopez is gorgeous! I mean..what young girl wouldn’t want to look like her when they get older? Anywhen..I just listened to this song today and yes..I am a little sad to say that I sang a long and bopped my head to it the whole time.

Well…whatcha gonna do?? (If you read all of this you must either really care about me or be really bored..)

Message from God

So, if you haven't talked to me, read my away messages, profile, xanga, or blog recently than you don't know what I'm going through right now. Let me sum it up. (apparently by sum it up I mean write two paragraphs- bear with me here)

I have been so incredibly busy these past few weeks and this week -yes- because of finals. Last weekend alone I wrote 5 papers : o , read 2 plays, had to go watch and critique a play and a dance, and had 3 meetings for projects coming up. All this just over the weekend. alone! I won't even mention last week or this week....sigh....Anywhen...

Yesterday morning I had just finished my 10 page Argument paper- complete with an 8 source works cited page- and I was ocmpletely stressed out. : ( Plus, I was starting to worry about my Acting Final Scene and that it's not coming together like I had wanted it to. Plus Plus, I have 4 more papers and 3 finals left...sigh...I'm just busy and worried about grades...and stressed..especially since this past Argument Paper was hell to write and is honestly one of the worst papers I'm ever written..

So, back to my story...I had just got done writing this paper and I jumped into the shower, got out and started to get dressed. I put on some capris that I haven't worn since last August and I noticed something. Not only were these capris huge on me..(they were a little big to begin with but since I lost some weight they just look ridiculous now and that makes me happy that I lost the weight but sad because they are my favorite capris)..

So...where was I?...I noticed that there was something in my back pocket. I reached my hand and but what did I find?? I know what you are thinking...but no. I didn't find any money. Although money is my favorite thing to find in pockets..once I found a twenty dollar bill in my jeans. That was a good day!

Woah Marissa! One thought at at time here. (sorry folks I tend to ramble) So, I reached my hand and pulled out a..fortune from a fortune cookie. : ) YEA! (you're not as excited as I am right now are you?) Every since I was little I have always put my fortunes in my back right hand pocket of my pants..don't ask me why. I guess to me it is good luck and maybe makes the fortunes come true. (yes yes..I'm a dork..wanna fight about it?)

So...I bet your curiousity is just too much to handle right now as to what the fortune said. Well..it must have been destiny..or fate...or something like that that I found this right when I did because the fortune read...

"all of your hard work will soon be paid off"

Eh??...So..this made me feel a little better about everything! with finals..with my papers..my scene...my grades. It was just, like, a message from God saying "chill out Marissa. it'll all be alright" and hopefully "you're going to get an A". So, in conclusion why did I ramble on for so so so very long about all of this? Well..I guess this is just me telling you that people who are going through finals right now..here's a message from God to me, from me to you.."chill out..it'll all be alright!" : )

Sidenote: I was told by someone once that you have to add "in bed" at the end of all fortunes ..so..

"all of your hard work will soon be paid off..in bed"

Wow..hm....I guess that's not too bad either..lol.

Marissa

You know what I’ve always wanted. I’ve always wanted a song with my name in it or as the title or something. There are so many songs that have girls names in the titles. I think it would be so cool to have someone think of me whenever they hear that song or sing me the song when they are with me. Assuming people would do this…

I mean why couldn’t I have been named Jolene, Rita, Jeanie, Ophelia, Eleanor, Madonna, Penny, Pam, Lucy, Lola, Mary Jane, Suzy, Amy, Anna, Prudence, Martha, Julia, Sadie, Alison, Barbara Ann, Rhonda, Lily, Angie, Ruby, Michelle, Cecilla, etc. (if you didn’t get it by now..there are songs with all those girl names in the title- and there’s more where that came from too) Although...my song would have to be happy..and some of those aren't. (i.e. Eleanor Rigby)

Well..I guess I’m glad any of those aren’t my name because frankly I don’t like any of them. (sorry to offend anyone..especially Damy ..you know I love you!) I just really really like my name. It's pretty. And I'm not just being conceited or anything. If Marissa wasn't my name I'd name my future daughter Marissa. I would now but I don't want to be one of those people that names their children after themselves. And..It’s also unique. Well..up until a few years ago that is. It’s becoming more popular now I thought I was special …but now with the ever so popular show The O.C. it’s more well known. You don’t know how many times I have heard my name..whether it’s my waitress at the Olive Garden, a city in Greece, or a little girl at the Zoo. It’s everywhere!

But enough about that! I just want somebody to put my name in their song. Come on…
I know nothing rhymes with Marissa…but it would be such a sweet song!...like..a song titled Marissa. Lol. That would make me happy. And whoever writes this song I will be forever grateful and probably worship you for the rest of my life. Any takers??

Top Nine

So...Even though I am soo busy right now and will be for the next week and a half and the fact that it's raining outside..I am soo happy! Wanna know why? Here are top nine (i don't like even numbers) reasons why Marissa is happy!

1. Only one full week of school left
2. All my finals are on Monday! So I don't have to be here an extra week.
3. Summer in about 15 days!
4. I get to make money soon!
5. been having good weather..except for today
6. I am slowly but surely getting things done. Got two papers done today..and hoping to write two more by tomorrow..four more by Monday
7. my birthday is oh so very close
8. I can have desserts now! But..I'm still controling myself..
9. Matt!!!!

Here are top nine songs that make me happy...i.e. the songs I've been listening to today...i.e. songs that remind me of either a certain memory or a certain someone

1. I feel Good- James Brown
2. What a Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong
3. Build Me Up Buttercup- the Foundations
4. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper
5. Always Look On the Brightside of Life- Monty Python
6. I Want to Break Free- Queen
7. You've Got A Friend- James Taylor
8. Squeeze Box- The Who
9. When I'm 64- The Beatles

My Fault?

As I sit at my computer desk finishing the paper that was due three hours ago via internet I am left to stare at all the people slowly turning their away messages to various bed descriptions or even sounds..and I am left to wonder why the hell I am still awake?
Why am I still awake writing this paper? Why am I still awake fretting about getting the rest of my homework done for tomorrow? What am I still awake worrying about the next two weeks of school and all the stupid papers I have left to write (approximately 10 by the way).
Is is because I procrastinate? And that it takes me three hours to write a three page paper? Because I check people's profiles, talk to people, imdb, play solitare, and write xanga entrys instead of doing this homework? Possibly..
Or is it really just the fact that college sucks and my professor's hate me. Isn't it really just that they expect too much out of a student and don't realize that assigning a project to a group of six students over Easter Weekend is just a stupid idea. Isn't it really just that they don't realize that some students don't care what Richard Boleslavsky has to say about acting. Isn't it really just that Professor's don't realize that writing 87 papers in 8 months is just ridiculous! Isn't it because society puts so much pressure on students to go to college and get a "real job" and join the "real world". When in reality wouldn't it be much more fun to be kids our whole lives. I mean..come on..think about it..who wants to grow up?
So..is it really my fault that I stay up till the wee hours of the morning writing papers, reading, and doing homework getting five hours of sleep or is it college, professors, and the worlds views in general?
That's what I thought...

How Would You Vote?

In English class right now we are discussing the future. More specifically- Transhumanism. If you don’t know what that is I will fill you in. But be prepared because it is one scary thought.

Transhumanists basically believe that through the advancement of technology and science we will manage to become posthumans. Posthumans meaning beings with vastly greater capacities than present human beings have.

How will they be greater you may ask? Well…here comes the creepy part. Basically what it is is a game of Sims. Anyone ever played? What it comes down to is that we all will be robots. What transhumanists want is for humans to download their minds onto a computer disk so that there would be a back up copy of you. And after this you will then be able to change and mold yourself into a newer/better person.

Do you want to be smarter? Have a better memory? Be able to control your metabolic rate? What about better your sense of smell? Or perfect your eyesight? What about a better taste in music, or a better sense of humor? Would you want to have more energy? More will power? Do you want to be less shy, less overweight, taller or even bigger breasted?

Well…now you can!!! Well..not yet technically, but transhumanists basically believe that we will eventually be this advanced in as short as fifty years. What they say is that you would be able to get rid of the habits that you didn’t deliberately choose for yourself in the first place. Also…(wait there’s more) these people believe that along with transforming ourselves we will be able to clone ourselves, repair all cells in a deanimated body, and freeze ourselves so that they will be able to bring the dead back to life or basically extend the average life expectancy of humans to say…oh…about 700 years!!!

It’s crazy!!! There are a group of people who actually believe all this is possible. They say that they can defy human nature and that in a mere fifty years we’ll be able to upload our minds onto computers, turn ourselves into robots, and live forever. Wouldn’t that be sweet!! Can’t wait!! Sign me up!! I mean…don’t you want to be exactly the way you want to be?

Now, to actually have this happen it would have to be a collective decision of the people in the world. (Not to mention a hell of a lot of science/technology research and expiraments..and money) After the decision to go through with this has been made you, you (as an individual) will be able to decide if you want to go through with the process and become a posthuman.

There is one drawback however…minor detail really…there is the possibility that with such technologies evolution to the point of oblivion may occur. The risk of the annihilation of Earth’s intelligent life or to permanently limit its potential is a chance.

Hmmm…interesting….but is it all worth it for the distinction of human life? Let’s weigh our options…On one hand I could be taller, skinnier, smarter, healthier, funnier, more outgoing, I wouldn’t be obsessive compulsive and..I’d have bigger breasts. But on the other hand I’d be a 700 year old robot and quite possible extinct. Choices..choices… I’m going to have to go with….NO!! HELL NO!!! I’M HAPPY JUST THE WAY I AM THANK YOU!

This is just too crazy of an idea and if I live to see this idea of posthumanism put through in my lifetime I will probably shoot myself. But enough about my views…how would you vote on the ballot of robotic destruction of the human race?

I will leave you all with a quote from William Grey, a philosopher who attended the Transhumanism Conference. “Overall, I’ve never seen such a collection of highly intelligent people whose views are just barking mad”

Thank you for you time..and please..think sane thoughts. For my sake and for the sake of the whole human race.

Change of Heart Part II

Maybe my heart is leading me towards...Classics! Classical Humanites is my minor but I am going to bump it up from an 18 credit hours minor to a 24 credit hours major. Therefore I will have two majors. BTW..Classics for anyone who doesn't know is like Greek/Roman basics. Mostly greek though. You cover art, acrchitecture, civilization, mythology, Greek or Latin language, philosophy, etc.

I am taking two classics courses right now. Mythology and Greek Civilization. And I love it! Mythology is soo awesome! I took it before my freshman year of high school with Pearly and that was cool (one of my favorite classes ever in high school). But this mythology class just goes so much more in depth and the teacher is really cool. Not only do we work on the mythological stories but we are reading Homer's Iliad and Odyssey and other works from other playwrights as well like Aeschylus (The Orestia), Sophocles (Oedipus, Oedipus in Colonus, and Antigone), and Euripides (Medea). I love them all! Specifically Homer though.

And Greek Civ at first I wasn't too into, but now I like it. Well..atfirst all we did was spend the whole period frantically writing down everything the prof. said. But now we not only write down notes but we started looking at lyric/epic poetry from different poets (my fav is Sapho) and also philosophers/historians/playwrights like Socrates (even though he didn't write anything), Plato, Aristophanes (Lysistrada), and Euripides again (Trojan Women). Also...at first we were learning the Persian War and now we are doing the Peloponnesian War. Which, to me, is so much more interesting. Next is the reign of Alexander the Great. Anywhen, I like it now.

And I can't wait until next semester next year because I get to take Greek as a language and of course more classics classes. And then...my junior year I am going to go to school abroad either in or near Greece. I have everything planned out already.

Anywhen...the point is that I really really like Classics..maybe more than Theatre. I can't decide. I may want to teach Classics one day. Like at a college. With both majors I can do either Theatre of Classics. But...I can only go to Graduate school for one thing..because I don't want to be in college until I'm 30 (exaggerating). I don't know....I have a long time to decide since I don't graduate undergraduate school for another three years. Sooo...I have time. I just can't wait until next year so I can get more experience in Theatre and Classics.

Sorry to bore anyone..this is just what I've been thinking about recently.

Change of Heart Part I

The semester is coming to an end and I have spent the past three months as a Theatre major. Therefore, I should have an opinion on it. You know..whether I should stick with it or not. Well...I am having trouble forming my opinion. See..I love theatre I just don't like every aspect of it. I'm taking two Theatre classes right now and one lab.

I absolutely love my Acting class. I learn so many ointeresting things. Like, there is so much to acting than just pretending and plain acting. It just goes so much in depth..there's a lot to remember and a lot to deal with. Especially according to Boleslavsky (don't even ask). We do lots of fun things in this class too. I mean going to the Zoo, observing an animal for two hours, actually pretending to be that animal for 40 minutes (yes I'm talking on my hands and knees) and then eventually having to turn your animal into a character (in my case a shy 3rd grader) is fun! Having to stretch every class and being required to wear sweatpants is fun! Sure..some of the reading and writing assignments I'm not wild about. But still...It's great.

Then take my other theatre class- Script Analysis (kill me now!). I hate this class. I can not describe how much I hate ripping scripts down- action by action, forwards, conflicts, exposition, themes, motifs, my personal fav..imagery, blah blah blah blah blah . Don't get me wrong...I love reading plays and talking about them. But actually analyzing the scripts..to me this is not fun. It's tedious! At first it wasn't bad because the plays were actually funny and interesting to read ("Matt & Ben" and "Words, Words, Words" I would highly suggest reading) . Now they just suck (enter "Flyin' West"). I just don't want to write eleven page Argument Papers about the quality of the script. And David Ball can kiss my ass. (David Ball wrote the book which we have to base our analysises on)

Where was I? Oh yes..I do realize that with a BA in Theatre I will be able to do any part of theatre I want to do. I don't have to focus on just one thing. (thank god). And it's good that I can try so many different aspects of theatre here in college. I can already say that I don't want to have to do any research on any playwright ever again or analyze any scripts according to Ball anymore either. (although I guarentee I will be dealing with these the rest of my college career) I also realize that I may have to do things that I don't necessarily want to do when I get older and choose a career..but I just don't want to be stuck doing something I hate. And the question is..as a Theatre Major will I find something specific that I like well enough to do the rest of my life?

Don't get me wrong..I love theatre as a major..it's great. Yes..I'll probably most likely 99.9% stick with it. I mean..it's a heck of a lot better than Math Education . Maybe I am just having a little change of heart. Either that or my heart is leading me to... (to be continued)

Oh and one more thing...anyone who thinks Theatre majors have it easy. (which is BS) Come talk to me and I'll straighten you out!

Chances are I miss you

Last summer I wasted so much time that I could have been hanging out with friends. Don't get me wrong...this summer I totally plan on spending as much time with Matt as possible..but friends too!!! Not only my girls (Tiffani, Amy, Ashley, Brandi, and Beth) but other people too. Scott, Andrew, Jimmy, David, Seth, Bobby, Chase, Josh, Brandon, Kenny, Mike, Danny, Will, Greg, Sam C, Jesse, all the boys...etc. Chances are that if you live in Loudonville I miss you (well...most of you..there are a few exceptions) so much and want to spend time with you this summer!!! If you are reading this, whoever you are, we should hang out!!

I love talking to people and making plans..so..call me, IM me, write on my facebook wall, come on people. Come May 5th ....I'll be home and ready for action.

P.S. does anybody actually read this? because 1.)no body ever comments and 2.) i'm not the best writer in the world. But I would like people to read it....