What Makes Me Happy?
Lately I've been really, really excited about graduating from college. I've spent four years here, and 13 years on top of that with kindergarten-high school. I'm just ready to be done with school and homework, and all nighters studying for exams. I like college life, but lately I've just been wanting to skip forward to when I have a job and I'm out of school. I'm ready to "join the real world" and have a set job and set hours. I'm ready to start making money and move on with my life....get an apartment, get a puppy, get an income. It'll actually be a while since I can do those things since 1. I'm living with my parents for a year so that I can 2. finish off my second major by taking two courses at Wooster college and 3. I don't even have a job yet.
This summer I'm working on the island as a bartender again, but when I move back home mid August I'm going to have to find a full time job. And this is what I'm really worried about. For starters, there aren't a ton of places around Loudonville where I could get a job that would make my Theatre Degree useful in. And then, I don't even know what type of job I want because I have no idea what I even want to do with my life. I like designing, I like acting, I like directing, but I don't like one over all the others, or enough to want to do it the rest of my life. I'm stuck. I am an indecisive person as it is, but when it comes to my career I'm completly lost. I guess I'll just take whatever job I can get to start out with. And maybe that will help me narrow down what I actually want to do in life.
It's just...I see my mother and how happy she is teaching kindergarten. She's been doing it for 11 years now but it took her that long to find that that is the job that is perfect for her. The job that makes her happy. And Matt...all through high school and the year after he had NO idea what he wanted to do as a career, and then randomly he started to be a volunter EMT and firefighter and now he loves it. And he's good at it, and it's what makes him happy and it's what he was meant to do. I'm just worried that I'll never find what makes me happy. I wish I knew it now. I mean..I've always wanted to teach, but I don't even know how to go about getting my teaching license or what I would even teach. I can't be a college professor. Too much more schooling than I want to go through or could ever handle, and I don't think I could ever be smart enough to know Greek, Latin, and another language if I wanted to teach Classics. And if I wanted to teach Theatre I'd have to pick a focus...and like I said before, I just can't. I'm just REALLY worried that I won't find a career that makes me genuinely happy, one that I was meant to do.
I can't wait to start living outside of college, and get a job, but it's hard when I know it'll probably just be a job to me. What if it doesn't make me happy and I'm just having to go through it, like college. I want to find what makes me happy but I'm completely oblivious. What if the job I end up doing isn't even remotely related to Theatre or Classics? I mean..honestly...at this point I could end up being/doing anything. Who knows where I'll be in ten years. I haven't the slightest idea. But...trying to figure out that is still very exciting to me. Good thing I'm optimistic!
This summer I'm working on the island as a bartender again, but when I move back home mid August I'm going to have to find a full time job. And this is what I'm really worried about. For starters, there aren't a ton of places around Loudonville where I could get a job that would make my Theatre Degree useful in. And then, I don't even know what type of job I want because I have no idea what I even want to do with my life. I like designing, I like acting, I like directing, but I don't like one over all the others, or enough to want to do it the rest of my life. I'm stuck. I am an indecisive person as it is, but when it comes to my career I'm completly lost. I guess I'll just take whatever job I can get to start out with. And maybe that will help me narrow down what I actually want to do in life.
It's just...I see my mother and how happy she is teaching kindergarten. She's been doing it for 11 years now but it took her that long to find that that is the job that is perfect for her. The job that makes her happy. And Matt...all through high school and the year after he had NO idea what he wanted to do as a career, and then randomly he started to be a volunter EMT and firefighter and now he loves it. And he's good at it, and it's what makes him happy and it's what he was meant to do. I'm just worried that I'll never find what makes me happy. I wish I knew it now. I mean..I've always wanted to teach, but I don't even know how to go about getting my teaching license or what I would even teach. I can't be a college professor. Too much more schooling than I want to go through or could ever handle, and I don't think I could ever be smart enough to know Greek, Latin, and another language if I wanted to teach Classics. And if I wanted to teach Theatre I'd have to pick a focus...and like I said before, I just can't. I'm just REALLY worried that I won't find a career that makes me genuinely happy, one that I was meant to do.
I can't wait to start living outside of college, and get a job, but it's hard when I know it'll probably just be a job to me. What if it doesn't make me happy and I'm just having to go through it, like college. I want to find what makes me happy but I'm completely oblivious. What if the job I end up doing isn't even remotely related to Theatre or Classics? I mean..honestly...at this point I could end up being/doing anything. Who knows where I'll be in ten years. I haven't the slightest idea. But...trying to figure out that is still very exciting to me. Good thing I'm optimistic!
posted by Marissa @ 12:49 PM
1 Comments:
At 3:26 PM,
Brittany said…
First of all, I can totally see Matt as a fireman. In my mind, that hat looks good on him-does the hat look good on him? How does he make money if he's a volunteer? As for you Monkey, totally know what you mean. You are super smart and talented though. Whatever it is you decide, you'll be A-okay. Plus even if the job sucks, you're fun, so you'll just automatically make it a good time!
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