Breakfast at Marissa's

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Is Christmas Here Yet?

Lately I have been in a slump. And it’s not like I don’t know why I feel like I do, because I know exactly why. There are multiple things, some bigger than others, that make me just so unhappy all the time. I feel like, if this makes any sense, that I’m just “existing”. Not living, just existing. It’s really rather sad and I’m really rather sad, but I don’t feel like I can do anything about it.

The problem is that I’ve been feeling this way practically all semester. Ever since I got to college or somewhere about there is when it started. I just feel so lazy about everything…and nonchalant. And I don’t really care about anything anymore, as horrible as this sounds…but for instance: tests, the way I look, making simple decisions like what to eat (when normally this would be a big decision for me since I’m so indecisive.), or just my life in general. I just don’t care anymore. And this is easily the worst feeling in the world. I’m in a slump.

I bet you are feeling really sorry for me about right now and wondering why I am writing this or what you can do to make me feel better, or just why I feel like this in general. Well…I’m not writing this to get your pity. I’m just trying to explain myself and the way I’ve been acting lately. I want to be happy again! TRUST ME!! I want to feel good enough to smile all the time like I used to instead of just sometimes, I want to giggle at everything like I used to…for some reason everything isn’t as funny anymore. I want to be in the mood to listen to my happy songs but I can’t because I never feel good enough to hear “I Feel Good” by James Brown and once again it’s sad but I don’t feel like the world is that wonderful enough to sing “What A Wonderful World” by Louis Armstrong.

So, to end this entry in a somewhat optimistic note I am going to list some things that make me happy. Just random things that always make me feel good. Here’s to hopefully being happy in the future.


1. snow- I realize that I have a long time until I get snow, but I just LOVE it so much. It always makes me smile.

2. Christmas- same as snow. It seems like FOREVER away but I CAN NOT WAIT!!! Christmas is my favorite season ever! And whenever it gets relatively close I just get in such a happy, ecstatic mood. I can’t help it. Christmas is such a wonderful, magical time about love and happiness and I want it to come now so that I can just be happy.

3. getting late, late phone calls from people- Whether I am up studying for a test or sleeping; whether it’s 3:00 am or even 6:00 am I LOVE it. I’m not even being sarcastic either. Just the thought that someone is thinking about me and decides to call me and wants to talk to me bad enough that they will call me that late..I Love it!! It makes me feel loved.

4. reading a book that has a ribbon attached as a book mark- this one is really weird, but for some reason it makes me happy. Probably because it’s old fashioned and just a really cool idea. Plus, I love reading in general and the ribbon is just a little cool bonus.

5. weddings- It’s probably just because I’m a hopeless romantic and weddings are all about the love. Everyone there is just so happy that you can’t not be happy at a wedding. Plus, they are usually so beautiful.

6. Strawberries- Strawberries are my comfort food. I love them, which is why I eat about a quart of strawberries a day over the summer. I especially love chocolate covered strawberries too. But it’s just my luck that I can’t have strawberries now because they are out of season. Great…

7. Crème puffs- This is just because crème puffs are my favorite dessert pretty much. So, they make me happy.

8. family get togethers- I LOVE my family. They are the greatest and when I’m surrounded by all those wonderful people, eating all that wonderful food, and just feeling so loved and having so much fun I’m happy!!

9.) lilies- After much debating (since I am so indecisive) I think I have finally decided that lilies are my favorite flower, especially white lilies. Not so much Calla Lilies, but Day Lilies. But I also love assorted flowers in general….they are just so beautiful.

This is my list. There are many other things, but these are just the ones I was thinking about at the moment. I want to be happy right now SO bad!! I know it will all get better eventually, but that time can’t come soon enough apparently. Don’t worry though..I’ll be alright.

5 Comments:

  • At 9:03 PM, Blogger Katherine said…

    Soon enough...you'll be happy again...sometimes the wait is worth it.

     
  • At 9:18 PM, Blogger Marissa said…

    w/e

     
  • At 1:03 PM, Blogger Katherine said…

    Yeah, you're right. Happiness is not our friend, right now.

     
  • At 2:16 PM, Blogger Marissa said…

    true story..happiness hates us..you know what they say though..
    if you hate life...life will hate you

     
  • At 7:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    We all have been there. It sucks, but it will pass. Here are a few things that bring happiness in my life.

    ...Attending Mass. ...The mentally handicapped fella standing in front of Heartland Home, on my drive to work each morning, with his arm up gesturing to the traffic to honk -- and I do! ...Breezy mornings, sunny afternoons, and nice cool nights. ...Kids and all the funny things that they say. ...Visiting with my grandparents. ...Listening to wholesome PodCasts. ...Snow storms are fun too! ...Getting a letter from an old friend in the mail (not so much by e-amil). ...and "I need more cowbell!" ;)

    Oh yeah and PIZZA!

     

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