Can't Sleep
tonight I cried for the first time in a week
it’s sad to say but I missed the tears
tonight was the first time I didn’t have the strength
not to call you when I wanted to
it’s so hard trying to be strong
when it’s so much easier to crumble and fall
i find myself being revisited by all these memories and thoughts
of how life with you was or could have been
but the hardest part of it all is trying to come up with answers
to questions that I’ve been asking myself over and over again
and finding that there are no answers but only the fear of what’s to come
the saddest part is I’m not myself anymore
i put on a brave face and pretend to be getting better
when I really don’t know whether or not to believe it
i don’t giggle anymore
i used to giggle at everything but now nothings funny
i feel like I’ve lost myself
am I happier without you? or better off?
are you going to come to the realization of how great your life was with me in it?
or am I going to be given up on? just like I have been before?
i can’t stand to think about the future when I can’t even remember the past
the past as it really was and not what my naïve heart claimed it to be
but don’t I deserve to be happy?
don’t I deserve to have someone that lives for me
just as I would live for them
when after every heartbreak my mother tells me she doesn’t understand
doesn’t understand why these things happen to me
because I’m such a wonderful and beautiful girl
a great catch that any man would be lucky to have
yet I always flock to the ones that break my heart
she used to say that us Henley’s are easy to fall in love with and hard to get over
i find that impossible to believe when I’m the one that falls to easily
and I’m the one that makes getting over relationships hard
is there something wrong with me?
do I push to hard? do I love too much?
do I overwhelm you with the way I want you to be?
do I set my standards for love too high?
impossible to reach?
am I impossible to love?
so impossible that you end up not caring and just push me aside?
or is it you? you and every other one before?
i don’t even know who’s fault it was anymore
i think I blamed you but it’s hard to recall
i try to play it all again but it’s just too painful
so if there are no answers is there at least hope?
it’s so hard to tell when I’m trying my best to forget you
and I don’t even know how you are dealing with the change
it’s hard not talking to you everyday
and even harder to make myself ignore the million things that remind me of you
i don’t have the answers and I know you don’t either
but I hate living in a world where I’m just supposed to believe
believe that everything will work out in the end
whether it’s with you or someone new who knows
all I know is I want to be happy again
so I’m left here waiting and hoping until all my questions are answered
it’s sad to say but I missed the tears
tonight was the first time I didn’t have the strength
not to call you when I wanted to
it’s so hard trying to be strong
when it’s so much easier to crumble and fall
i find myself being revisited by all these memories and thoughts
of how life with you was or could have been
but the hardest part of it all is trying to come up with answers
to questions that I’ve been asking myself over and over again
and finding that there are no answers but only the fear of what’s to come
the saddest part is I’m not myself anymore
i put on a brave face and pretend to be getting better
when I really don’t know whether or not to believe it
i don’t giggle anymore
i used to giggle at everything but now nothings funny
i feel like I’ve lost myself
am I happier without you? or better off?
are you going to come to the realization of how great your life was with me in it?
or am I going to be given up on? just like I have been before?
i can’t stand to think about the future when I can’t even remember the past
the past as it really was and not what my naïve heart claimed it to be
but don’t I deserve to be happy?
don’t I deserve to have someone that lives for me
just as I would live for them
when after every heartbreak my mother tells me she doesn’t understand
doesn’t understand why these things happen to me
because I’m such a wonderful and beautiful girl
a great catch that any man would be lucky to have
yet I always flock to the ones that break my heart
she used to say that us Henley’s are easy to fall in love with and hard to get over
i find that impossible to believe when I’m the one that falls to easily
and I’m the one that makes getting over relationships hard
is there something wrong with me?
do I push to hard? do I love too much?
do I overwhelm you with the way I want you to be?
do I set my standards for love too high?
impossible to reach?
am I impossible to love?
so impossible that you end up not caring and just push me aside?
or is it you? you and every other one before?
i don’t even know who’s fault it was anymore
i think I blamed you but it’s hard to recall
i try to play it all again but it’s just too painful
so if there are no answers is there at least hope?
it’s so hard to tell when I’m trying my best to forget you
and I don’t even know how you are dealing with the change
it’s hard not talking to you everyday
and even harder to make myself ignore the million things that remind me of you
i don’t have the answers and I know you don’t either
but I hate living in a world where I’m just supposed to believe
believe that everything will work out in the end
whether it’s with you or someone new who knows
all I know is I want to be happy again
so I’m left here waiting and hoping until all my questions are answered
posted by Marissa @ 1:25 PM
1 Comments:
At 7:07 PM,
Anonymous said…
Could be!
Who knows?
There's something due any day;
I will know right away,
Soon as it shows.
It may come cannonballing down through the sky,
Gleam in its eye,
Bright as a rose!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Under a tree.
I got a feeling there's a miracle due,
Gonna come true,
Coming to me!
Could it be? Yes, it could.
Something's coming, something good,
If I can wait!
Something's coming, I don't know what it is,
But it is
Gonna be great!
With a click, with a shock,
Phone'll jingle, door'll knock,
Open the latch!
Something's coming, don't know when, but it's soon;
Catch the moon,
One-handed catch!
Around the corner,
Or whistling down the river,
Come on, deliver
To me!
Will it be? Yes, it will.
Maybe just by holding still,
It'll be there!
Come on, something, come on in, don't be shy,
Meet a gal,
Pull up a chair!
The air is humming,
And something great is coming!
Who knows?
It's only just out of reach,
Down the block, on a beach,
Maybe tonight . . .
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